Always For Her
by taylorash
Summary: A proper Rogan Goodbye. Because they deserve better, and so do we. Complete.


For self-promotion purposes only, I've recently written another one-shot, **Straight From a Hallmark Card**. Check it out.

**Summary**: A proper Rogan goodbye. Because they deserve better, and so do we. Oneshot.

**Disclaimer**: Nada.

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"I need you to," she took a breath, darting her eyes away from him for less than a second. "I need you to convince me."

The next few seconds were filled by the sound of one of the horse's hoofs clomping restlessly on the black pavement. He stood there, searching her eyes. For something, anything.

"Convince you." He said it not as a question, but as a statement. Looking down at his feet, he sighed into the night air. Lifting his head to look back up at her, he shook his head.

"What?" she asked, her voice shaking. Was that a tear sliding down her porcelain cheek?

"Rory," he stated, giving her a knowing look.

She shook her head, closing her eyes. This was not happening. She wouldn't let it.

Another breath. She held this one. "I need you to tell me this will work. That this is what is best for the both of us. Then I will." She let it out, opening her eyes to look back up at him. She let her crossed arms drop to her side. She wanted him to take her, to pull her back. To make this '_what if_'-ing and self doubt encompassing her go away.

He stared at her for long seconds. The silence sounded like a cacophony in her ears. _Say something_, she pleaded to him in her mind. _Please_.

"If I need," he paused, forcing his gaze to look to the right, away from the blue orbs she was lucky enough to call her own. "To convince you, then you're not ready." There. He said it.

"Lo-" she cut herself off. "I don't," she responded after a moment. "I don't…" she closed her eyes again. "That's not why," she said in a rush.

He nodded in acceptance. Putting one hand in his pocket, he pulled out the little blue box. She watched him quietly as he fingered it, before lifting the small lid to reveal the stunning diamond inside.

"You know, I bought this about a week ago, in San Francisco. Stephanie and Finn flew there just to help me, since I honestly had no idea what I was doing. We went from store to store, saw countless beautiful rings, but none of them…felt right. Then, when strolling past Tiffany's, I saw it. This," he put his hand out, letting the box drop into her open palm. "The perfect ring."

He watched her as she stared at the ring, fingering the diamond. "I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Rory, no matter what. But you…" he smirked, trying to keep his composure. "You don't know, do you?"

She looked back up at him, her eyes now shining, as she closed the box. Not taking her eyes off his, she took his hand with her free one. "I don't…I _can't_ lose you."

He looked at their interlocked hands, then back up at her face. "But you don't want to keep me either." A breath. "Do you?"

She broke down there, in his arms. The moment the tears came and the sobs escaped her lips, he wrapped her up in his embrace. She cried onto his shoulder, one of her hands placed gently on his heart, the other near her cheek.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

The sound of his heartbeat had always been reassuring to her in the past. Now, it just sounded like time she was losing. Stifling her tears and holding back any more sobs, she pulled back to look into his eyes.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

"I want to be ready," she said finally. "For us. I _need_ to be ready."

He slowly backed away, so that she was out of his embrace. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he sighed. "I'm not going to force you into something you're not ready for, or don't want. I have to…" he drifted off then, and returned his gaze to the safety of the bushes to the right.

She crossed her arms again. "What?" she said, her voice cracking. Looking back, she knew what he was talking about long before he said it. But that didn't make the deafening silence between the two after her question any easier.

"Let you go."

"No," she said immediately, shaking her head quickly.

"Rory-"

"NO!" she yelled it this time with such force that one of the horses pranced in place, anxious. More unshed tears came down her cheeks. Lowering her voice, she spoke again. "Don't. Please," she was pleading. They both knew it.

"I can't make you marry me, Rory. I love you too much to do that." Sighing, he looked away from the bushes and back to her. Her newfound expression almost made him take everything he had said back.

"This can't be happening," she said, her voice breaking. She looked upwards, trying to stop crying.

"This is for you," he continued talking despite her comments in between. The faster he got this out, the easier it would be. "You don't want to marry me. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with me. I can accept that-but I can't be with you if you're not sure."

"NO!" she cut him off with another loud interjection. "Logan, no, no. Please. Just…tell me you love me. Anything. I'll say yes, I will. I just can't…this…I…." she put a hand up to her head, holding back the sobs that were starting to come to her again.

"I'll let you go-so you can do all the things you're destined to do. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, right? You on CNN, being an overseas correspondent. Me working in San Francisco. Separately, they sound great, but they just don't work out when put together." He let out one more breath.

"Logan…" she almost whispered, at a loss for anything else to say.

He nodded. "Yeah. I know." He eased the ring out of her fingers, and she watched as he gently put into his coat pocket, where it had lain before. "I guess…I guess I should go."

"Please," she pleaded shakily, one last time. They stared at each other in an unbalanced silence. "Please," she repeated, desperate.

Their last kiss was nothing spectacular. Logan put his arm gently around her waist, and their mouths automatically connected, as they had done countless time before. He eased her mouth open, and their tongues dueled for a few seconds before he broke it off. Leaning their foreheads together, he peered at her through her eyelashes. "This isn't goodbye," he said softly in her ear.

"It's not?" she asked, breaking contact with him altogether. "Then what is it?"

He shrugged. "We'll be seeing each other again." Peering behind him, he let out one last breath. "You and Lorelai can take the carriage home."

"But, I-"

He shook his head, not letting her continue. "I love you. Remember that." With one last lingering stare, he took a single step back, and then turned around completely. Rory watched him until she couldn't see anything left. She looked around her at her surroundings, as if trying to find a way out. Finding nothing, she quickly walked back into her grandparent's house.

He had done this for her. Even though it had been the hardest thing imaginable, he had done it for her.

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Now isn't _that _the proper way to say goodbye? I'm thinking of doing another one-shot connected to this one, when Stephanie, Finn and Logan go ring-shopping in California. However, if you don't take 30 seconds to review, how will I know if I should? 


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